The Language of Love

What is the language of love? Some say love needs no language... or that between two people who are meant to be together, no language beyond the language of love is needed. Are we to understand that this language is made up up entirely of glances, gestures, and other non-verbal kinds of communication? It all seems very romantic, but I wonder...

 

Recently I attended a birthday party for a Spanish-speaking student celebrating with 50 of his closest friends and his Japanese girlfriend. She sat leaning against him for most of the early part of the evening. She spent most on the evening just sitting, only occasionally punctuating her silence to chat with her girlfriends in Japanese, or to look at bf with big doe eyes and exchange a few kisses. I asked her if she was studying Spanish or English... but she said she wasn't - only Chinese... well, this is Taiwan after all... but neither is he studying Japanese (and she admits she can't understand his Chinese). Seeing as there really is no common spoken language they can share, that chemistry must be pretty strong and the language of love speaking volumes...  Certain he said volumes after a bottle of champagne when he stood up and declared his love for her to the whole room. Hmmm....

 

How important it is to share a language with your partner? Who should learn whose language... or should the couple both learn the other's language... or a third/neutral language? Or is it different for everyone? Are there people who really can communicate without language?

 

I remember my first year in Korea. I guess most people who have lived in a foreign country have had the experience of going on a few dates with someone who doesn't share their language. I remember the pleasure and pride of stringing together a sentence and having it be understood by the other party... drawing pictures, charts and diagrams to make communication... How flattering it feels when someone has made the effort to learn a few words/phrases in your language.

 

I also remember how frustrating it was not to be able to learn fast enough... repeatedly try to explain something and the frustrations mounting to a point where one just has to giggle and give up... And the profound disappointment on having the achievement of having sucessfully reached a certain proficiency in the target language marred by the realization that not only do you have absolutely nothing in common with your sweetheart... he stands for everything you are against! Hmmm... ok, maybe it is not always so extreme, but for me... communication is extremely important. 

 

I have more to say about this, but I will hold off until I can update you on the saga of the above birthday boy... Perhaps I will be able to report that she has learned fluent Spanish from his friends, that his Japanese is coming right along, and they have already started teaching their unborn baby Chinese, Japanese, Spanish AND English.

 

Well, this is too long so I will stop here, but perhaps one day we can also share ideas on love and language exchanges.